My Spiritual Awakening

     After several grueling years of missionary work, I had finally established a Fundamental Baptist church in Southern California. I had the truth and I knew it. I wanted everyone to hear it, and I preached the Bible with authority from the pulpit. The next thing I knew, I had undergone a spiritual awakening and I had discovered not only how opinionated and judgmental I had been, but also how much bigger God was than I could have ever imagined.

     Let me back up a little bit now. You see, the awakening came little by little, but as it happened, it completely changed me. You might say it healed me. And all of this happened just because I went to the gym one day.

     Yes, you read that right. A spiritual awakening happened because I went to the gym. Along with pastoring, I also worked a full-time job managing and driving for an overnight delivery company. Constantly driving, I ate a lot of junk from gas stations and fast food joints, so I had packed on the pounds. My wife and I both resolved to get a gym membership. This ended up being the best decision I ever made.

     Little did I know that when you work out hard, your body releases lovely little chemicals that help you deal with the muscle pain. Chemicals like serotonin, dopamine, and endorphins. It was like getting legally high after every workout, and I loved it. Also little did I know that working out also changes the neural pathways in your brain. For me, it definitely shook something lose because the whole right side of my brain exploded.

     The result is I could suddenly see everyone's point of view. This is quite disconcerting for a Baptist preacher. This was not my spiritual awakening, however. It was just the beginning. There were other factors that began to work into this.

     My work changed drastically. A large European company bought the small company I worked for. They fired all of the drivers who worked under me and hired third party contractors. My responsibilities were reduced, and I felt marginalized. Before this, I would wake up with anticipation each day. I couldn't wait to get to work. But after the buyout, I dreaded coming in.

     To top it off, I had one warehouse employee under me who seemed to hate me. He went to HR with a false accusation that nearly cost me my job. If you've never been brought before HR, I can only tell you that you are assumed guilty until you can prove your innocence. Then, when you prove your innocence, you are guilty anyway. Now I had this guy working for me and I had to look at him every day.

     Remember that during this time I was also pastoring a church and working out. One night after a work out, I discovered an old audio from Les Brown on YouTube and we listened to it in our truck on the way home. I began listening to him more often, and then to Ed Mylett, Jim Rohn, Tony Robbins, Zig Ziglar, and many more.

     It was my first exposure to this type of motivational speaking, and it was like a full moon during a dark part of my life. The first person I heard talk about the Law of Attraction was Ed Mylett. At first, this didn't seem possible at all, but the more I listened the more I thought it might be possible.

     I also began reading. The Four Hour Workweek by Tim Ferris got me thinking that there has to be more to life than a monday-friday job until you get too old to work and then die. There must be a meaning. Some kind of purpose.

     Did I mention that all of this happened in 2020? No? The pandemic had added another layer of stress to my life. It also ended my church. I had a handful of faithful people. They were really great people, but it was just barely enough to make a church work. When the pandemic hit, we couldn't meet, so we had to get used to a sort of "virtual church" via live webcast. This worked until a member moved away, and I knew there was not enough people left to go on calling it church, and I had to close the doors.

     The funny thing was, I wasn't sad about it, and neither was my wife. This freed me up to explore spiritual questions that were now filling my head. By now, I was coming to grips with the fact that the Bible had no answers for these questions. I think all of these questions I had could fill another blog post, so I think I will put them down in writing later.

     I began reading the Tao the Ching, and reading authors such as Wayne Dyer and Stuart Wilde. I began to understand that when you think you have God all figured out, everything changes and you realize you haven't even begun to comprehend him. God is everywhere, in all things and all people. Even in that bastard who turned me in to HR. He was there to teach me a lesson, and I hope I learned it. As much as I hated him at the time, I love him now.

     The real turning point came when I told my wife I was leaving my job. I had nothing lined up. She supported my decision, and the next week I put in my two weeks notice. I trusted the universe, and before the two weeks were up, something fell into place for me. Using the Law of Attraction, we were able to have a couple small windfalls a long the way.

     I became fully convinced of the Law of Attraction when we went to Vegas and I visualized an upgraded room at Caesars Palace. It all happened exactly as I had thought. I wouldn't consider myself an expert on the Law of Attraction, and I wish I could say everything has been roses since then. But whatever happens to me, I know the universe has my back. I love life now, and I live without judgment, seeking to be in a constant state of gratefulness and bliss.